Loving self

Teach your children self reliance ...Letha Mbuli 
It was interesting listening to her music cos lately my thought has been about reaching deep within to find that love and happiness, thats meaningful like the happiness brought on by a friend or boyfriend's kind gesture, to reach deep within so to be able to love self the way we want others to love us.
So how do we best love ours self intimately?

Answer is within spending time with self and to be able to generate self happiness. By just being, chilling, liming, vibing with yourself ,to go beyond feeling sorry for yourself or wallowing, going beyond your arrogance and ego Especially on the days you feel invalid, unappreciated and useless love yourself care for yourself, I guess after that we empowered with discerning emotions and feeling that belong to us and those imposed on us, through that we then learn how to best deal with people circumstance s and relationships to allow us to, walk through life peacefully. for now this works for me.

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Looking back at my up bringing I think I have always been prepared for this life im living now.I was rasied by my grandparents from the age of 11months till I left home after high school to study in Cape Town where I was for 10 years then I got on the road.

From primary school I use to go to all kinds of camps SU camps (scripture union),bonga bonga bush camps, school camps, prefect camps,then for high school I went to boarding school Ixopo and that’s where the possibilities grew because we had children from Eastern Cape, Matatiala, Kwa Zulu Natal and many other places and I befriended a lot of people then on free weekends where we had to live the hostel I visited friends and after high school I moved to Cape Town.

In this sense I believe my family prepared me for the greater world. I know I didn’t have to live home to know how much I love my friends and family.

Right now in my life ( being in the Caribbean) I have all that one could want, sunny days, beautiful scenery, rivers and waterfalls, but being without the familiar faces of friends and family there is a constant feeling of MISSING home, the language the food the music the colour and sounds of the street, I miss my friends and the things we did together be it chilling, vibing, dancing. I miss my grandmother and her funny ways (we laughed as much as we disagreedJ). I miss the little things they did or say.

I miss my family and friends for their loving kindness even more when I need a hug, advice sometimes even something to eat the economy here is not the greatest so I have redefined hunger.

Sometimes I feel guilty about being so far away, it becomes worse when they ask me when I am coming back and the truth of it I don’t know when but I now I will eventually sometimes I miss them SO MUCH I would cry for hours then I wipe my tears and become aware of how blessed I am to be in this position too unique, too beautiful of an opportunity to not see it through, to me it is a once in a life time opportunity it would be so wrong not to experience and enjoy.

Opportunities are rare and we should strive in them once they arrive cos one day I would be able to say to my kids (if ever im blessed with them)

I am blessed I am highly favoured. These are words that feel my mind as I enjoy the nights full moon ocean view surrounded by trees of great beauty so natural so bright and beautiful is the night. I am immediately transported to reminds me of when we were young and my grandmother through readers digest had received an atlas book it was very big and long it showed you the continents and their countries. My brother my  cousins and me we would page through it and be like I am going here or neh it looks dry little did we know till later, that it’s just an arial view of the place, on quite moments I would pick the book up and look at the various places for hours and say to myself one day.

Australia use to be my obsession.

Thinking about my childhood the only thing I was discourage from by my grandmother was traveling I use to annoy her about where I want to go and she would be like the ancestors won’t let you travel so far they would be confused and unhappy. Now that I am grown and I am travelling I let them know every time I move just for her sake maybe in some way her view affected me to be conscious of vibes. What I do is every time I move I let them know o khokho we are moving to the land of these people or we have arrived in this place and I live where etc.

 Moral is all our lives we have been working towards this day this life we living today, think about it.

It is the way we live the choices we make that lead us to where we go, so please lead me to the place of love to the place of happiness.

Finding out whats right for you and your path can be challenging and difficult but its doable the world still has love and supports its children as much as I miss home and family and friends I have met equavillants families that have embraced me fed me, clothed me and sheltered me,I have met friends who hug me love me fight with me lie good friends do. Dunny thing though is when I see someone who looks like a friend back home be it their mannerism dress code even physical looks when that happens, I get an overwhelming feeling of care that that friend is thining about me looing out for me.

Yesterday one of my dear friends Nonkosi we were chatting about  the reggae show that happened back home Gentleman was in South Africa and I missed him!!!so she was taking pleasure at this too J her last msg was “we miss you so much and all the people who now you always ask when you coming back?the whole of South Africa miss you” I was touched and felt good TO KNOWI AM LOVED no matter where I am.

Memories of you they follow me where ever I go and memories don’t live like people do.

Love and happiness

some of the many faces I miss...

OUR PATH

With pen and paper we reconstruct our future
Based on the present
We interpret feelings and reactions to come 
When the time comes we live it
As though it where a dejavu

Dominica NATURES ISLAND Wati'Kubuli

Dominica NATURES ISLAND

WatuKubuli

Closer to time to leave Barbados and seeing how much I had in my wallet, the cheapest ticket I could afford was Dominica. whilst in Barbados work wasn’t that easy to find but my creativity wasn’t stifled so I had a cleaning job and worked with children making musical instruments using recyclable materials, which was great fun.

I could barely feed myself yet alone buy a ticket to leave that’s when the good people I met helped me to get to Dominica.

I was just as clueless of Dominica as I was of Barbados, now Dominica is truly natures island some of my friends thought I was in the Republic of Dominica and im like noo its Dominica, they don’t have much materialistically speaking but they have a lot of peace of mind but peace of mind doesn’t fill the stomach.

Right now the nature of my travel is I arrive in a country with nothing, get some work and buy the ticket to the next place, for now it works but I have so much to offer when times are hard I really wish I could be financially compensated for the gifts I have but right now no such luck, so I work my way( it would so great if we didn’t have the money system either). The way I see this is that no matter where I am I have to eat be clothed and have shelter where I do this doesn’t matter because it’s all the same for everyone everywhere in the world. Food, clothes  and shelter.

People keep asking me which is better out of the 2 islands I use to have an answer but after a while I realise they are incomparable because each place is a different reality both islands have a magic about them as much as they have a downside too. What I do know these 2 islands love their rum.

More provision but here there is a fusion of taste buds, Carib,French, African,English,Chinese etc but these taste buds go as far as snakes ,frogs (mountain frogs call them chicken) rat manique igwana I will pass maybe give me provisions and red beans when I arrived here first thought was there where defiantly runaway slaves and truth of that reality really made me feel good and kinda connected to the space. beautiful mountains all around second thought was if South Africa thinks it’s a rainbow nation they need to think again cos Dominica is a the rainbow.

I’ve come to learn the hard way Dominica is not money making Island at all but if you a persistent you will find what you need. Thus far I have truly understood through practical experience what the term exploitation mean and also what if feels like to be used before I left my job everyone was like get a job first but knowing me if I have had it I’ve had it I can only take so much yet my rope is very long, so I left and on quite days I argue with my conscious ‘why are you stubborn now we jobless and broke’ and it responds “but you volunteer at the children’s home and are now finally writing what’s been on your mind and you have time to do your hearts way”. On the outside if you don’t have anything that’s what you have, it’s about connections and who knows who, so if you don’t know anyone then tuff luck let your ancestors be your guide and or your God. The art of letting go of things that are beyond your power.

February has seem challenging I have to move out my place at the end of the month because of rent, offers come and disappear (people tend to say things or offer things to be nice and when they actually have to do it they back,use to it by now) I love the volunteer job at the centre I help children learn to read in English, first time I met them they asked me to sing them my countries national anthem and in return they sang me there’s it was a great exchange.. I wish I could meet the minister of education because there is an injustice done to these kids in the name of education, one of these days!! For cash on the side I do guitar lessons for children, some have no patience of learning they just want to magically play ids are humorous though.

Arts/creativity not yet fully embraced so artistic avenues are rare, in the past few months I’ve only had 3 shows Mero beach festival and an event put together by Prag productions. I attended 2 exhibitions which was exciting to be in the hub of the artistic community.

The nice thing about Dominica I really love is when I am yearning for a river bath; there is plenty of rivers to go around, waterfalls, streams, springs and lushness. Its festival time and I have been lucky to catch the creole festival and now it’s the Nou Konnet viv, costumes and cultural music soca, fun times and plenty beauty pageants Queens, Princesses and Queen Mothers.

Between Barbados and Dominica ladies if you have a low self-esteem the Carribean men will boost it sky high for you it can be flattering and you have hips and ass you are blessed J so big gurls who aren’t feeling dieting move to the Caribbean there is plenty love going around here for voluptuous ladies.

Truth of it all no 2 days are the same.Today you might be crying but tomorrow you will be smiling.

Love and light