The way/journey/path going into self is not easy because you have to let go of who you THINK you are and what society thinks you are.But its doable a constant changing process,the beauty lies in the authentic self even when so many things around and within us changes there is the true God given self still standing...
The other day I was just wondering how much of me is really me,how much of me is the people I surround myself with and how much of me is what I was raised to think I am.I had to sit and ponder on this (plenty thinking time in the Islands Nature Isle) and while I was on that tip I realised my life is like pealing a banana or an orange removing layers bit by bit.
Those who have started the journey serve as reminders to those seeking not to sit in the sit of judgement of others even though others will feel judged based on how you live, remind them as you remind yourself.
So to yours truly (based on my journey cause I can only speak of what I know and experiences) to know yourself is like trying on a pair of shoes..you try them because they look like your kinda shoe,they beautiful and exciting even just looking at them.... any way...this shoe you wiggle,push,feel your toes,use your fingers to put them on you do all this because you love this shoe you do this until you find a pair thats comfortable for you and your feet.
No one can tell you how and when it is comfortable only you know.
I cant help but remember with warmth incidents when I was young and gogo (grandmother in Zulu..I was raised by my grandparents) brought me shoes or a dress (without my presence) in her eyes and sometimes mine too looked good but did not feel good sometimes the shoes will be tight and when I walk in them hot hot hot and I will sing Macy Phakele "ayatshisa amateki this is not my size" or the dress will be too tight under my arms or my waist no comfort what so ever and I didn't feel comfortable for nothing...but for some reason I was just to scared to tell her "it doesn't fit me" cos its not like we got new clothes often so in my fear I smiled and said thank you and paid the price with discomfort just in case she changed her mind and I will have to wait another 100 years till I got a new outfit. The best feeling will be coming back from church and taking of those shoes and dress aaah such relief!and made mental notes what size I am.
I relate this to our spiritual growth so often we try to fit in boxes and places we dont belong but for many reason known to ourselves we live these lives of false comfort,then it becomes necessary to know what is right for you what fits comfortably with out you having to force and fight your way to comfort when you could have slipped in like you do into your favourite flip flops.
The first 15 min you spend alone hearing your thoughts,feelings ,seeing the beautiful and the ugly of self,the first time you sit and look at self wont be as comfortable as the 100th time you do it for you would have by then found that which you in the constantly changing times,because you would have wiggled,pinched,pushed taken off tried another TILL you find the perfect fit the original you and good to walk in (being comfortable in your own skin)learning to love beyond your skin to find self leading to comfort in your own skin.
The same process we apply in buying shoes or clothing item is the same process as getting to know yourself.
Nature Island is teaching me to hear my silence and go beyond the surface to be aware when the shoe dont fit,I also realise and except that my grandparents where preparing me for this life I am living and for that I am thankful and grateful for the memories that come knocking in the silence of self whispering stories I thought I have forgotten yet hold the key to my next door.
Be patient with self till you find the authentic self
love and light
its a journey not a race take your time aka live life like pealing a banana 1 leaf at a time
.jpeg)
.jpeg)
No comments:
Post a Comment