FINDING MY WAY IN THE DARK

Hey Fam

huh!even when I walk in the valley of darkness I am safe, I am loved, I am protected hamba uzobona (go and you will see) Still in Dominica...

So what are the chances of hiking up a hill (1h15min walk) to see a friend only to het there there is no one sunsets no one no other choice but to hike back down,only for the cell phone to die on you!

Well yesterday I experienced one of the most scariest things that I could go through while travelling thus far (after catching a train at 3am in Brooklyn last year I thought that was scary..When I was in New York I went out with friends from Queens and on our way back I wanted to sleep in my own bed and after alot of no this no that when the train stopped I dont even know where I just jumped out and waved bye once the train moved I wa like oh shit where I am and believe subeays in New York are no walk in the park but I eventually found my way safe and sound).

ANY WAY

Now I found myself in the forest trying to find my way through darkness and twice I almost fell in the river I swear I saw it as a path...I went to see a friend who wasnt there and I thought they would eventually get there by 7:30 pm no one just me the trees and the night creatures house is locked I had no choice but to head back down where I came from...My heart skipped a beat...funny thing about life though when you just know there is no other way out except doing what you have to all else goes aside reasoning and mental debates stop dead cos you just have to do what you have to do.any how I send another friend saying 'I am up here no ones here so I am walking down' in my head I' am thinking should you not hear from me in the morning come look for me.'As I press send that sound tooootoooo low battry shutting down!

My heart sank for a split second and I prayed my favourite prayer si ngaba ntwana abatcane sina mandla amfutshana ngi cela ungi dcine ngi thandeka ngi cela ungi dcine ngi no xolo (we are small children we soont have alot of strength keep us in love keep us in peace)
Then I called my ancestors and told the animals of the area I am just passing through I am not looking for trouble.

Then darkness fell like a cloud on me normally when I am in tight situations I cry first I guess that helps me release brain freexe moments and I think more clearly after crying...I blink nothing cos my mind is like Thobs whether you cry or not you will have to do this and maybe you will see them coming up with a deep sigh I start walking.

My poor feet but thankful cos they took alot of beating..stones...rocks...water,prickly leaves and at some point I had to take my shoes of cos they where slippery.
I was really scared but I figured I am all alone no one can hear ish from me so the best is to move forward and if it wasn't for the help of some fire flies and all the female slaves who ran away from plantations in darkness with no shoes worse then they created their own paths and had nothing but freedom in their minds... so their courage made me fearless and I found my way...slipping and sliding losing balance almost spraining my ankle numerous times safe at home and really thankful for being protected.

When I got home after my shower and spliff feeling settled I thought my experience through and was wondering about fear,how it appears in our daily lives and our responses to it too,In my state of fear how much of what I saw did I really see..the moments where I almost went down the river boy the night plays tricks on the eyes one minute you think you going straight the next you bumping on trees or when I heard footsteps coming my way and then silence!

I believe fear is False Evidence Appearing Real! and we should be aware of our fears so they dont control us if I had given in my fears I dont think I will be writing this...

I guess the inspiration to be alive is deeper than our fears, for what are we scared of? more than our greatest fears becoming reality!so these scary moments become a mirror and reminder we can handle much more than we think.

love and Light